


Runaway Fairytale

by CloudDreamer



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Derse/Prospit Royalty, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Arranged Marriage, Casual Limb Loss, Demons and Fairies, Easily Forgiven Kidnapping, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Humanstuck, Implied Murder of Zebruh, Is This A Shakespearean Comedy, Trans John Egbert, also demons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 12:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20115232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudDreamer/pseuds/CloudDreamer
Summary: The Heir to the Prospit Throne, engaged to the Princess of Derse, is kidnapped by the self proclaimed most infamous pirate gang ever!!!!!!!! Starring June Egbert's trans discovery?





	Runaway Fairytale

You are the Heir of Prospit, a kingdom blessed by ancient fae. The wind is always in your hair, and when you stand on your castle's many balconies in a storm, the hole in your heart is almost filled before your protector pulls you inside, complaining about how the biggest danger to your life is your own dumb self. She's probably not wrong. 

Every now and then, you are faced with actual assassination attempts, but the dragon-blooded girl took care of them easily. She's the most terrifying person you know and also the weirdest by a long shot, but you trust her. She is the only person who doesn't hate or love you just because of your position. 

When you sleep, you dream of a golden world of spirits and space, guarded by a witch with bright emerald eyes. Her hair is longer than she is tall, and if you reach for her, green electricity shocks you awake. The witch seems lonely, though you can't explain how you know this. (Maybe it is you that is lonely.) 

You are John, and you are the heir to a kingdom you have never seen. You spend your days learning what is and what isn't proper behavior, lectured on the intricacies of history and politics of a world that's far bigger than your small palace. 

Sometimes the crown of silver weighs heavily on your head, and your body feels wrong. The air around you feels stale. As if you weren't meant for this. You push away your doubt. 

Queen Jane tells you that you are engaged to the Princess Rose of Derse, and that you have no choice in the matter. Your tutors taught you that Derse is haunted by demons and creatures of the nether world, which are hunted by people who've learned magic from books. There are rumors that their King is a warlock, that he's made a pact with the evilest demon of all, and that his twin children, one of whom is Princess Rose, have inherited his dark powers. 

You have no choice in the matter, but even if you did, you wouldn't object. This is what you were born to do.

-

The wedding is set for your eighteenth birthday. 

It is the twilight of the night before, and you're in your tower, looking out the window to the road bellow. You've had your face pressed against it for hours now, waiting for some sign of her arrival. You said you could wait like a reasonable person, but every slight noise has had you running to check. 

Eventually, a carriage pulls up, surrounded by several armored knights on elegant horses. They fly Derse's violet and black flag. 

One of your servants opens the door to the carriage, and a girl steps out, dressed in a pale orange dress with a violet sash around her waist. Everything about her is washed out, practically white, and it is a sharp contrast with the dark sun kissed hues of Prospitians like you. Her hair is pushed out of her eyes by a headband with a bow on it. At the center of the bow is a shining amethyst that seems to vibrate with an alien energy, even from this distance.

You've exchanged letters with her using a magical artifact she'd had delivered, and you'd gotten along okay. She always seemed smarter than you and kinda snarky. It was clear she wasn't too excited about this, but you figured you might be able to make it work? You hope you can. 

You hear the door open behind you, and you assume it is one of your many servants coming to tell you that the Princess has arrived, so you don't turn to look. 

You're rather surprised to see a long and slender blade at your neck and feel a hand clap over your mouth. Your eyes widen, and you scream, but it's muffled by the hand. 

This is the first time any sort of attacker has gotten near you. Terezi has always taken care of any threats before they could actually pose a danger to you, and a lifetime of doing whatever her, tutors, and the Queen told you to do has taught you not to resist an order.

"Shut up," your assailant hisses, and pushes the blade closer, almost cutting into your skin. You follow the order. "Now I'm going to remove my hand, and you're going to drink this little bottle without screaming or I'm going to cut your pretty little neck, right now. Nod if you understand." 

You nod, terrified, and after the hand is lifted, your assailant pushes a bottle up to your lips. It's dark blue and is marked by an M with an arrow at the end. 

"Terezi..." you say, feeling dizzy and sinking to the floor. You get one glimpse of your assailant before you pass out completely. She's a teenager, just like you, and her shiny black hair is long and loose. Her nose is sunburnt and there are scars covering the right side of her face, covered up partially by a cool eyepatch. She's kinda pretty, and she's wearing a denim jacket over a black tank top. 

Your final thought before you pass out is: That's the kinda cool girl I want to be.

-

You wake up tied to the pillar that the sails on a ship are tied to. You do not know what the term for the thing is, and you don't really care too much. 

Mostly, you're kinda confused. You figured you were about to get married to some girl you were kinda friendly with and yeah, that was going to be your life. But now you appear to be kidnapped by pirates.

That was not what you expected out of life. 

"he's up!" a girl calls. She appears to be part cat, with cute ears sticking out beneath a hat with an olive green stripe and a wagging tail. She's short and chubby but moves surprisingly quickly and dexterously. 

"Vriska!" another girl calls. This one is a bit taller, and she's holding a trident. She looks familiar for some reason, with her button nose and tiny ears that don't match her sharp and muscular, albeit big, body. You gasp when you recognize her at last-- Meenah Peixes. You haven't seen your cousin since you were a kid. "Vriska!!" 

"Oh good," the pirate girl from your room says, stepping out from the room on the front of the ship that also probably has a name. "Hey, John, you won't do anything stupid if we untie you, right?" 

"No? Who are you? Why did you kidnap me?" 

"Vriska Serket, leader of the Cerulean Spiders, the most infamous pir8 gang on the 8 seas! And I kidnapped you because Terezi likes you for some reason." 

Despite her self-proclaimed infamy, you were never told anything about her by your tutors. Though, if she knows Terezi, she might be the childhood frenemy your protector told you about on the rare cases she'd give any information up her childhood. Although it feels like she's been with you your entire life, she only actually came to the palace when you were both thirteen. 

"So this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm the heir to prospits throne, and I was getting married tomorrow?"

"_You_ were gettin married?" Meenah snorts. 

"It was a political thing, I didn't have any choice in the matter!" you protest, indignant. "Also, what are you doing here, Meenah?"

"Bein a pirate with my gillfrond, obviousea."

It takes you a bit to decipher the fish puns, and your confusion isn't helped when the cat girl meows for some reason. 

"Ok..." 

And you pass out again, though not before you hear Vriska say, "Goddamnit." 

-

You wake up again, and this time, you're not tied up. 

"Vriska decided mew were too much of a weeny boy to be a threat so there was no need purr the ropes," the cat girl explains. "I'm Nepeta, by the way!" 

You'd be insulted if it wasn't true, so you shrug it off and look around the ship. There are three other girls on the ship. Skylla is very buff and lifts boxes of supplies like they weigh nothing at all. She seems like she gives good hugs. Chixie is super dexterous and sings a familiar tune while she climbs the ropes, and you recognize her as a disgraced pop idol from a few years back. What'd she do again? Murder her producer? Daraya's got this punk look going on, and she acts totally disinterested in you, though she seems actually pretty curious. 

There's an empty bunk in the ship. Vriska says it was supposed to be for Terezi, but she GUESSES you could use it until she comes. She's pretty sure Terezi will come. You're not sure she cares as much about you as Vriska seems to think she does. 

You notice your crown is sitting on the table in Vriska's chamber. It's silver, unlike the Queen's, which is gold. When you're King, yours will be gold too. 

When you're King. 

You're going to be King, right? That's what your entire life leading up until now has been preparing you for. You've never really had a choice, which the Queen is always happy to remind you about. Still, it feels nice being on this ship in the salty air, surrounded by these girls, even though they're, like, pirates and you're the Heir. 

They're all girls, and you're a boy. 

And yet you fall asleep easily, the gentle rocking of the waves so much more comforting than the stable ground of the life you'd known. 

-

When you dream, you are in the golden kingdom again. The witch watches you with her sad smile. 

"June," she says. 

She's never spoken to you before. All you've ever gotten from her was this sense of unease and loneliness. And you're not even sure if she's spoken now-- did her lips move? You're not sure. 

"That's not my name." 

"It could be."

-

Over the next few weeks, Nepeta teaches you the terms for parts of the ship, and Meenah shows you how to tie some knots. Daraya, begrudgingly, explains the basics of navigation, and Skylla helps you exercise. Since you don't have any clothes, Vriska gives you some of hers, and there's a femininity to how she dresses that feels good. Her fashion isn't what you'd want to wear, but it's more you than anything you wore at home. 

She also gives you a lesson in sword fighting, which you, frankly speaking, suck at. 

It's when you're scrubbing the deck do you realize you feel more at home among the girls who kidnapped you than you ever did at home. They're all kind of bitches-- even Nepeta with her cute cat ears doesn't hold back-- but you think you like that about them. When you come across other ships, they rob the poor strangers.

You think you should probably be shocked or disgusted by how violent they are to the merchants and navy they come across. Sometimes they even kill people, and sometimes you help, using your wind to make them ram even faster or to throw a blow off course. Technically, these are your own people they're robbing. But, like, you've listened in on enough meetings to know the crown is stealing much more than anything you could possibly take. So, really, whatever? 

One night, you're leaning against the railings of the ship and staring off into the blue horizon. 

"I wish I was a cool girl like you, Vriska," you say, absentmindedly. 

"Can't do anything a8out the cool thing, I'm sure you're going to 8e a nerd forever, 8ut you can 8e a girl if you wanna," she replies, also without thinking too much. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah? Just 8e one, doofus." 

"It's that easy?" you ask again. 

"I mean, I wasn't always a girl, 8ut now I'm the 8est girl, soooooooo why can't you 8e an okay one, June?" 

-

A few nights later, a dragon lands on the deck carrying a princess with a fondness for dark magic and a vampire with a chainsaw. 

A battle ensues as the result of mistaken identities. The dragon morphs back into Terezi Pyrope, who proceeds to attack Vriska. The cane clashes with steel. Although the attackers were outnumbered, the vampire's speed was that of ten men. Of course, that only meant it was on equal footing when she fights three lesbians at once. Chixie's acrobatics keep her out of the range of the chainsaw, while Skylla is strong enough to hold it back. Nepeta reveals the full extent of her demonic heritage when she shoots a rain of orange feathers towards the vampire and dragged her upwards, flying with bird wings. Meenah and Daraya keep Rose from casting any dark magic that would end the fight prematurely.

The battle stops only when you, the pirate June, runs out, wielding a sword and renounce your claim to the throne, as well as your previous engagement with Rose. In the heat of the moment, you propose to Vriska instead, and to your shock, she accepts. Perhaps that's because of the blood loss, as Terezi did cut her arm off in the middle of the fight. 

Rose laughs, and it's like a burden has been lifted off her shoulders. She turns to the vampire, who she met and fell in love with on her epic quest to track down your kidnappers, which had also somehow involved deposing her father and destroying the evil demon lord he'd sold his soul to, and asks to marry her instead. Kanaya accepts.

Someone takes care of Vriska's arm, and Terezi kisses her, Rose, and you square on the lips.


End file.
